“Family of origin” is just a fancy way of talking about the family that you grew up in. For a large portion of us, a “family of origin” means our biological mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and the like. If you will indulge me for a moment, I would like for you to take a moment and reflect on your family of origin. When I reflect on mine, I have memories of my dad’s humor, my mother’s cooking, family traditions, fighting with my brothers, feeling scared, feeling happy, feeling loved, feeling lonely, and the list goes on.
Tag: foster care
August 21st marks 30 years since the Family Care Network opened its doors to begin serving our community’s children, youth and families impacted by trauma. We’ve been celebrating this milestone all year by walking you through our 30 year journey, spotlighting important people, partnerships and moments which have made the last 30 years not only possible but exceptional.
Ann Ward is certainly someone who has made the last 30 years possible. She and her husband were two of our first foster parents. They’ve been with FCNI from day one, and have served hundreds of children and families in profound ways over the years. Ann has also become an invaluable trainer and foster parent support person, helping others to serve and succeed.
The following was written by Ann in honor of the last 30 years--and reflects her tremendous heart for our mission and our community!
The following is a transcript of the speech given by one of FCNI’s most resilient and remarkable staff, Amber Davis. As you will read, Amber’s story is moving and captivating--her heart to soar above circumstances completely out of her control is nothing short of miraculous. Amber shared her story with our Benefit for Kids’ guests this past August 6th, moving the crowd to tears of heartbreak and joy. We hope you’ll enjoy learning more about Amber, and that her words will inspire you unexpected ways.
This month I had the immense privilege of being invited to be the Social Media Ambassador for the Family Focused Treatment Association’s (FFTA) annual conference. I anticipated that the event would be inspiring on many levels, digging into policy, advocacy, foster care, trauma-informed care, working with LGBTQ youth (and the list of relevant workshop topics goes on). While these workshops were fresh, relevant and well-presented, what really made the whole event special was all of the people I met.
A foster Dad is just about the best thing a foster kid could ever hope to have. Most of the kids in our life have had at least one or more loving women in their lives--teachers, social workers, mothers of friends. But sadly, few kids in care have had a good “Dad” experience.
One of the most frequent concerns I hear from parents who are considering foster care or adoption is, “Will it be too hard on my kids?” There is certainly a fear of the unknown of how bringing a foster or adopted child into your lives will impact your current family. It is safe to say that adding a new family member to any family will change its current dynamics. This change is true if you add a new biological sibling, have a grandparent move in, remarry after divorce, or open your home to a foster or adoptive child.
Families are not static; they change frequently regardless of how much we wish we could keep them the same.
As is often the case, when something new comes along, something else typically gets displaced or overshadowed. The positive transition to emphasizing trauma-informed care and trauma-informed practices with children in foster care has had the unfortunate result of reducing the conversation on resiliency. While trauma-informed care has been a valuable shift in this field, it cannot and was not meant to standalone.
It’s hard to believe that Family Care Network is celebrating 30 years of enhancing the “wellbeing of children and families in partnership with our Community.” I became a certified foster parent with Family Care Network 27 years ago when the agency was only three years old. I knew I had found the perfect agency to support me in being a Resource Parent when I learned that the very first training was all about communication and creating effective, genuine relationships.
As I think about the many years I have been a Resource Parent with FCNI, I am lead to express my thanks.
“Heroes didn't leap tall buildings or stop bullets with an outstretched hand; they didn't wear boots and capes. They bled, and they bruised, and their superpowers were as simple as listening, or loving. Heroes were ordinary people who knew that even if their own lives were impossibly knotted, they could untangle someone else's. And maybe that one act could lead someone to rescue you right back.” - Jodi Picoult, Second Glance
Tara Brown started fostering as a young single mom because she had a dream about helping children in the foster care system. Her story is beautiful, wonderful and nothing short of miraculous. At first glance, Tara might seem to some as an ordinary woman, but you’ll quickly find that she is far from ordinary, and has made a world of difference to one child, her newly adopted son. When you learn more about Tara’s story your first question might be, “Why would she foster and then adopt when her life presents so many obstacles that seem impossible to overcome?” Her answer to this is simple yet profound: “Faith, hope and love.”
In the U.S., 397,122 children are living without permanent families in the foster care system. Of these children, 101,666 are eligible for adoption, but nearly 32% of them will wait over three years in care before being adopted. So, come on folks--there are kids who need you! But not so quick—this is a decision which needs thorough research, careful deliberation and thoughtful decision making.