An Adoption Journey

Brian Tietje, FCNI Board Member
November, 20, 2018 -

Adoption is a blessing that came to us; we did not seek it ourselves. My wife and I were in our pediatrician’s office for our daughter’s 8-year checkup and, after the appointment was over, the doctor pulled us aside for a brief conversation. He shared, “I have a client who is a single teenage mother of twins and who is pregnant again and she and her mom have decided it would be best for her to find a loving Christian family to adopt her unborn child. I think the two of you would be perfect for this.” Needless to say, these words came as a shock to us and we did not, at the moment, know exactly what to say. But it was entirely clear to us that God was moving us and encouraging us in this direction, and we immediately felt a deep sense of love and compassion for both the mom and her unborn child, so we accepted the calling with some degree of uncertainty and trepidation, and only three months later, we brought our infant son home to our family.

I wish I could tell you that everything that followed was a storybook series of magical events and peaceful moments of a cooing, sleeping baby and family bliss. But that would not be truthful. We encountered a number of challenges, some relating to our son and the circumstances of his adoption, and others relating to weaknesses and challenges within our own family and marriage. We went through some hard times, sometimes wondering if we were going to make it intact, and ultimately leaving us crying out for God’s grace and intervention.

And God came through; it’s as simple as that.

Through the adoption, we were given the gift of compassion and understanding that all of us, in some way, have struggles and brokenness in our lives, whether they be physical, psychological, social or economic, and that God’s grace is the healing salve to allow us to love and support each other. We learned so much about our own brokenness, and our son’s challenges forced us to recognize and accept our own limitations and, in the process, extend far greater compassion and understanding to others, as well.

Fast forward nine years, where we are now, and we can tell you that our faith is stronger, our marriage is deeper, and our son proves himself daily as one of the greatest blessings we have ever received. Our daughter, too, has become a more compassionate, selfless young woman because of her own personal experiences through this adoption.

Our message, then, to prospective adoptive parents is this – there are blessings awaiting you, even in the midst of the uncertainties and challenges that will inevitably occur – that only God knows and understands in the present time. The opportunity to bring a child into your home and family, and provide love, support and care, even if they are imperfectly provisioned, is an amazing adventure that will change you for the better just as much as you impact the child.

We pray for God’s blessings to any of you who are considering this opportunity.

If you or someone you know are interested in learning more about adoption or adopting from foster care, please contact Family Care Network at (805)781-3535.