My sons are birth brothers, and they were placed in my home when they were 12 and 16. Unfortunately, their childhoods were splattered with trauma starting from the time they were born. Their birth parents met when they were both foster children themselves.
Self-centeredness is the enemy of love which is why therapists try to teach empathy and attunement to couples, parents and kids. When one can put oneself in another person’s shoes, then many of the walls which may have grown up between them can start to lower. Afterall, isn’t that the beauty and the risk of love--being willing to put someone else’s wellbeing ahead of your own?
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